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2020 in Review

March 2020, COVID restrictions began to impact my location directly. In California, it seemed to be a waiting game. How is New York doing? Oh, its getting worse! Hospitals were getting overcrowded and it was uncertain how this virus could impact big areas. The school I was contracted at made the decision to close starting that Friday, my agency followed,  I never returned to that school as everything move online.  In the following months I was led to an awakening. By July 2020 I quit my job and went into private practice. I haven’t looked back. 

When the pandemic hit, I realized life was too short, too precious, too meaningful to be overworked and underpaid. I love the work I did and being able to see children in my practice AND it just wasn’t cutting it for me. I realized what fear had done to me- it kept me complacent. Stuck in a place where I felt I was doing the good work because somebody had to, I was self-sacrificing. I thought of other ways in which I was sacrificing my needs, I arrived at my own self-neglect. I thought of my community, the monolingual Spanish speakers who ‘needed me’. I thought of my family , how I saw pieces of my family in being able to work with the Latinx community in the front lines. I realized that in order to support more- I needed to start prioritizing my needs. I realized I was important and that others could survive without me, this liberated me. 

My community is always with me, I don’t need to prove my commitment through neglecting myself.

The leap was not without fear, I lined up another job to support with the transition. I thought I needed some sort of back up.  I became an adjunct professor for graduate students studying to become therapists. I also started speaking more about topics that I thought would be helpful on my social media. I gained a following and truly found my voice. I was fearful of doing things on my own, but I was a natural teacher. As I find alignment, I do not plan on returning to formal teaching. 

I am a leader and a teacher. I trust myself at my core and know others will benefit the most from having me at my best.

I write this to encourage you, to take leaps and if need be to change your mind! Find alignment and figure out who you are. I don’t mean to have an end ‘I am_____’, more so, I evolve and trust myself through the process.